Thursday, December 31, 2009

to a new decade

31 dec 2009

end of a decade. this has been an eventful decade for us all. we have been through trials and tribulations and we have managed to survive them- most of them, which will linger around to haunt us. to me this decade has been quite a learning experience. firstly because, this was the decade where i could perceive and question. the core of my influence took shape in this decade where i had the privilege of interacting with many people with different perspectives.

this was the decade where boys became men, ready to take on the future, head on. the transition wasn't easy, no transition is. it will take further 25 years for the next transition and this will be a tumultuous period marked by confusion, precision decision making and exorbitant amount of stress.

this decade found us at the cusp of our careers, and the next decade; at the zenith. and with that i raise a toast.

to exciting times,


Sunday, December 13, 2009


did you know that the reason why your hair loss is so pronounced is because your hair follicles are split at the ends and that because you have dried hair and because you dont play a banjo at full moon or some other ridiculous reason here.

i was channel surfing on the tv( after a long long time) when i caught some commercials / advertisements. so finally they say, they have identified the cause for hair loss and the cause for fighting cavities, or why your skin goes black under the sun and what you can do to prevent it.

and they did that 5 years ago and if my memory serves me well the same spf (whatever that means) 15 sun screen lotions 10 years ago and yet they convince us today that they have revolutionized their products and the way we think about our body and our failings to keep it in the way we should not the way we want.

enough said.


Saturday, December 12, 2009

perseverance, who has it ? hats off

Saturday, December 05, 2009

dekha hai aise bhi

re-post but worth it

Dekha hai aise bhi kisi ko aise hi
Apne bhi dil mein basaaye huye kuch iraade hain
Dil ke kisi koney mein kuch aise vaade hain
Inko liye jab hum chaley nazaare bhi humse miley

Dekha hai aise bhi, kisi ko aise hi
Dil ke jharokon mein ab bhi mohabbat ke saaye hain
Reh jaaye jo baad mein bhi hamaare wafaayein hain
Inke liye ab tak chalein, hazaaron mein hum bhi mile


looking through the window,
i gaze at a girl,
with skin so white,
and cheeks with hue

a passing glance she throws,
an eternity goes by,
as if a spell cast by her alluring eyes?

with the bewitching smile, the angelic voice
and the mischievous eyes
she asked,
Shall we dance,
dance the night away?

and we danced, danced under the moon light.

an unfamiliar touch,
an unexpected shrug,
jostled me back to my senses.

alas, the girl was ethereal,
a concot of my desires
i walked to my abode,
in a drunken stupor

hallelujah! who were to tread upon the same path as me
my muse,
in a joyful glee,
gathering the remnants of my sobriety
i approach to her

i approach to her
with a thought
a motive
of a rendezvous

i recall asking her
for a rendezvous
whilst i awaited her reply
it seemed eternity passed by
and still i await for her reply
for the rendezvous...
or was this a ethereal yet again?

How about a cup of coffee?

The aroma that filled the air was inviting
The flavor enriching
The taste full filling.

As the vapor danced with the air,
I noticed the table was sad,
Inquired I,
Why was it sad?
Said the table,
"Alas! there be a room for one more"
"And there be no one to sit"
I thought to myself,
I must be wasted,
The coffee must be spiked,
For I am talking to a table,
And the table to me,

Assured I, to the table,
That I would make it happy.
Absurd as it may sound,
Would you help me make the table happy?

The aroma is inviting,
The flavor is enriching,
The taste is full filling,
And the coffee is wonderful.

And maybe then,
I could recite to you,
A poem or two,
Or may be not,
Its all upto you.

You have my number,
You have my mail,
Can I have yours?
So that I can ask you yet again,
Would you help me make the table happy?

Friday, December 04, 2009

Life's weird.....

Isnt it weird that the people you wanna talk to arent really that interested in you, and the people whom you’re not that interested in wanna talk to you all the time….. I guess both mean the same thing dont they?

Original credit to: Just a kid :)

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

hypocrisy at its best

the problem with us indians is very few have a vision to move forward or change something that is stagnant, something for which there is a huge societal contempt. despite such hurdles, mental and physical, these visionaries survive and stride to see success and once they do, the very same society that held contempt for the vision and the visionary, suddenly label it and the doer as one of their own and don't fall short of claiming the delirious belief they shared of the vision and the visionary.

hypocrisy at its best!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


i think this was long due so here it is.

i want to thank all of them who were a source of inspiration to me. to me you have been a driving force without which i wouldn't have been able to experience / enjoy the wondrous things around me. you are still a driving force to push myself and to give my best to measure up to be a fraction of your achievements. its been a fun and a memorable journey and i intend to keep it that way.

thank you all again! i was just lucky to be a part of your company!


Friday, October 16, 2009

haircuts and lines

a visit to a barber can be daunting at times. especially when you believe your do accentuates your hunkiness. also when you are trying out a new barber on an occasion when you have to look good.

so i had to have this haircut. i had a natural afro every morning. it was raining and my friend ( who also wanted his hair done) suggested a place close by. after much dissing about how "we" didn't know about the place, i said it was safer to go to the tried and tested. then he gave a long list of references and eventually i gave in. i mean whats the worst that can happen? the hair will grow back - at least at this point of my youth.

with that assurance, i went ahead and glad that it was not a screw up at all and ended up much better than expected.

the occasion was a career fair. i feel it is kind of necessary where you connect with the recruiters and pointless as well. countless resumes are wasted ( i believe they end up in the bon fire that night, where all the recruiters gather up and ridicule the candidate's capabilities as they throw his resume in the fire).

i myself tend to chose lines that are short. anything longer, i try to find out an alternative, mainly because i dont like standing in lines as with anyone else, and i intend to express that dissent at that point :P

till we meet


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

earthquakes and sharks

Went down to Mexico,
I drove my black El Camino
I met up with an old gringo
He showed me round, and said to call him Joe.
I was there about a week or so,
Wound up in the general hospital,
Joe said don't drink the water no more,
How the hell was I supposed to know?

Drove up to San Diego
Saw a sign for Mission Beach
And so, went out deep into the ocean,
Saw a shark and had a stroke.
Back in the ambulance I go,
Had a dream about a girl I used to know,
She said "I got to warn ya bout Mexico and California."

Earthquakes and sharks to start us off,
If Chupacabras ain't enough,
Black widow spiders and killer bees,
Ain't no shade and ain't no trees.
Black bears and heat, polluted air,
There's traffic jams beyond compare.
That's all I got to warn ya bout Mexico and California.

Woke up and said I got to go,
Doc said "Relax, just take it slow."
I tried to argue, but don't you know,
Bout California and Mexico?
Right then, the doctor hit the floor,
The building shook, then shook some more,
I looked down at him and swore,
"You son of a bitch! I told you so!"

Earthquakes and sharks to start us off,
If Chupacabras ain't enough,
Black widow spiders and killer bees,
Ain't no shade and ain't no trees.
Black bears and heat, polluted air,
There's traffic jams beyond compare.
That's all I got to warn ya bout Mexico and California.

Monday, September 28, 2009

hell with it

why are we so worried about going to hell? dont we have enough challenges here that we have to worry about? why worry about something that may or may not exist?

apu and the simpsons

what havent the simpsons taught us? this multi-emmy award winning show has showcased the true american culture with tact,wit and humor.

yesterday when i was doing something important ( actually i was peeing, in a motel, that was owned by a fellow indian), i realised something. something very interesting. it is common knowledge that simpsons are the longest running tv sitcom in history. one of the characters in the simpsons is Apu ( who is an indian). i cross checked this with wiki and turns out that Apu was first seen in an episode around 1990. that makes you think now, doesn't it ? the influence of the indians working in convenience stores must have been so strong that they just had to introduce an indian character in a convenience store. which consequently means that we had already made an imprint then, when, atleast i thought, it was then the migration had just started.


Friday, June 12, 2009

moments of ephiphany

its all in the outlook

Thursday, May 21, 2009

saffron bridage and the hand

with so much hubbub on the forming of a stable government in india by the congress, here are my two cents on it. i have not been following their adherence to promises since their accession to power but i do remember two episodes that shot them in limelight for all the good reasons.

episode #1: the nuclear deal

everybody wanted to sign the deal. everybody in power that is. consequently, the opposition opposed it, despite it being a good thing for india. and upon every opportunity the congress, especially the pm, fielded 'for' the deal and stated its advantages.

what ensued was the dissolution of the government, a vote of confidence in the parliament. fortunately, the government persisted and signed the deal.

people to win : congress, its allies ( dont remember)

people to lose : left, bjp etc..

cost: limelight.

episode #2: the saffron charade

piece by piece the nandigram attacks were unraveled with all the fingers pointing to the saffron parade. the pursuit went cold when the inspecting officer passed away in the bombay attacks.

and this unfortunately for the opposition happened in the very last leg of the government tenure because of which it was fresh in the minds of the voters. hence left failed miserably because of its staunch opposition for the deal and bjp for its negative role in both counts.

just my two cents. what are yours?


of age and its hesitance

so lately, i have been putting people in an awkward position. well basically, i was just testing people to see their reaction when their age was slightly exaggerated. what i found was people are a bit touchy when it comes to age.

now ten years ago, when they were in their teens, if you exaggerated the age, it was dismissed as a mistake and the conversation moved on. but ten years hence, its a different story. people are just scared to be considered old in the eyes of the others.

all my test "subjects" were males, whom i thought were impervious to matters of age. but they fell for it and raised issue for the exaggerated guess of their age even by a margin of 2 years. girls are out of the question. they would reach for their sandals or purses and fling one at me. so i aint taking those chances.

what i do is, in the middle of a conversation, i pick up a point where you could put the opposite guys/gals age into the discussion and then slightly exaggerate the number :P and wait for the reaction and take it from there.

its hella fun, you should try it sometime.

thats it for now from me ,


Wednesday, May 13, 2009


small expressions change your life in great many ways. though it may not relate to you, a mere observation of it changes your perception. this happened to me when i was in my teens. a typical boy growing up. a typical house with parents and a brother. a house that needed cleaning. a house with a maid for cleaning the utensils ( mom had way too much on her hands). now as with maids, we had a period where we had to shuffle a bit. and one of those shuffles, i felt something. i could quantify the feeling then and thankfully despite what i have become (not much), i still can quantify it. i am sure, that it if nothing else, it is going to give me the touch that makes us human. we need that feeling sometimes. something that makes you human.

anyway, during one of those shuffles, in came 2 girls, barely at the age of 4 or 5. when they first walked in, i was dumbstruck. i couldn't even fathom the thought of them cleaning the utensils. cleaning for fun is different from cleaning out of compulsion. so unbearable was the thought, that i walked out of the house. mom, who was/is very kind, gave them biscuits and something to drink every time. she confessed that even she felt sad for them, but the work gives them the money they badly need. i still can remember their tiny little hands with a rag cloth cleaning the utensils. it was such a tragic image. their eyes were so innocent. they should be having roses than rag clothes in their hands.

i guess i am thankful for that, in a way. i do my best to support such unfortunate folks, but whatever i do, in a way feels incomplete. the only consolation is that a step forward, is a step towards progress. one of my aims after have a stable life is to setup an ngo for education, especially for girls and the under privilege kids. its their only chance out the rag clothes. so join me won't you, to free these kids from the shackles bound by fate.


p.s. : (unrelated but powerful) opening lines from crash:

Graham: It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

guess the song

haha, well i bumped into this amazing song on youtube ( as always and i kept listening to it for couple of hours now). in an attempt not to destroy the song, i try to translate it into english, and hopefully you should get the song. i have stripped few lines from the song as they give it away.

i am all alone in this world,
vacant is my heart and house,
but in it will live a fortunate,
whosoever wants to see me,
comes whenever they want to see me,

right here right now,
i have noticed somebody,
yes noticed, certainly noticed somebody,
she is giving me those vibes,
but then may be she is afraid of someone.
scared, petrified.

how would a scared one love?
i like someone who isnt,
whosoever wants to see me,
comes whenever they want to see me,

there are the rich and famous here, but do always remember,
yes remember, do remember,
though there are the rich and famous here,
true love is the wealth which the poor have,
the rest is just a matter of chance,
these matters of the heart,
are the most beautiful in the world,
alas,but how would these wealthy understand?

whosoever wants to see me,
comes whenever they want to see me,

i think i did a decent job, considering the short span of time i did it in. can you guess the name of the song?

leave it as a comment.


-edit-thu 30 apr 2009-

i massacred the song, sigh

Friday, April 24, 2009

longest two minutes

metrosexual: just because a man likes to take care of himself doesn't mean he is gay anymore - southpark

so taking influence from this statement and owing to the ample amount of free time i have at my disposal, i set out to do just that. what you may ask? being metro sexual that is, to the most extent possible, my will permitted. now i didnt actually knew what the term meant and hence i decided to get the word on the street about metrosexuality.

apparently, it turns out that the only other people who are as free as i am are homeless people. at an intersection, i asked one homeless guy, what does it mean to be a metrosexual. i don't know how but soon enough the central theme was of his donkey named jesse and an onion. so i then went to the university village, at around lunch, as it was a host to college students and people with "different" lifestyles. i noticed a guy who was groomed and decided to ask him, what metrosexuality meant to him. and this is what i got, " get on with the times girlfriend, metrosexual is soooo 2005. these days you switch your lifestyle altogether and express yourself more freely."

okaaaaay. my luck! the first time i try to take a survey amongst the people and i bump into a gay guy making advances on me. needless to say, i ran away - to the other side of the pavement. here was a welcoming change. a couple of girls were walking towards me. my thinking was, if anybody knew about grooming, it would be them. not because how they looked :D but because grooming, in my ignorant? opinion is a girl thing :D.

so i waited for them, not staring at them ( you dont want to scare them away!) and when they were at earshot, i put forward this question. now as straightforward and simple this question seemed, they just giggled and walked away.

puzzled, i thought to answer the question myself. what would one look at when you see somebody. my instinct told me, apart from the handsome face would be the hair. that seemed to be a reasonable conclusion. so i rushed to superior ( a super market) near by and headed for the shampoo counter.

seeing the options that i was given, i decided to buy a moisturizer. and eventually i chose the pantene pro v ( that strengthens my hair 10x times and is a daily moisture something) moisturizer. i must admit it was the 10x thing that lured me to buy it, not the moisturizer part. a first step "forward", i thought. as soon as i reached home, i headed for the shower.

as a staunch believer in rules, i read the instructions behind the back of the moisturizer bottle. it said take sufficient quantity, rinse your head with it and wait for two minutes. the bottle held high up in the air with two hands, as if performing a ritual, i said, " to metro-sexuality" and poured some on my hand and rinsed it. now i don't know about you guys, but those were the longest two minutes ever. it seemed like eternity and then soon enough i lost my patience. i think i am determined enough but the 2 minute wait wore me out. minutes later i found myself ensconced on the bed, the moisturizer in the drain and my will that had given up the idea to discover "metro-sexuality".

yet again, this new found fickle fad sits atop the pile of to do things before i die, which is a host for the flies. that said i think i have a new fad coming along, if only i could put my finger on it.

so nowadays you would find me smelling fresh ( thanks only to the deodorant). the rest of the whole bathing, cleaning is a sham that i will not partake in.

so until next time, fruit cake


Tuesday, April 21, 2009


arms shackled by the leather straps bound tightly to restrict any movement. the room didn't seem to embrace the light from the flickering bulb hanging from the ceiling. as the rusted hinges set out to work together with restrain, and opening the door, in came the gentlemen in white uniforms helped daniel stand up. the drab combination of pale green and white on the corridor walls wasnt an uplifting sight. the journey ended in another room with a table, two chairs and a lamp far brighter than the earlier one.

daniel sat down, a little restless, and the gentlemen who brought him there ushered themselves out. he saw himself facing a lady doctor. he felt they werent the only people in the room. jordan a well built man, jack a neurotic, joey a punk, janice a teen, jenna a school girl and jim a bum were all there too. he didnt feel alone. she started by asking daniel, "who are you?". " i am jordan and you have no right to keep me here", came the reply from jordan and daniel in a gruff voice. "i am not asking you!", said the doctor. looking at daniel, "now what is your name?", she asked again. jack came the answer. followed by joey, jim, jenna, janice, jordan, jack and daniel fighting with himself everytime and reciting their names than his own. soon enough the calmness in the room was gave in to chaos, with each one shouting their name unison, more aggressively each time.

"ENOUGH!", shouted the doctor, "we have to work together if you want him to get out.", pointing at daniel. gaining her composure and restoring silence, she asked again, " what is your name?" jenna started singing and with daniel in unison , " row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, merryly merryly merryly merryly, life is but a d...", at which daniel hesitated and jenna stopped. the doctor interjected, " does it begin with a d?" no answer. "do you think it begins with a d?", she asked again, only to be replied by silence. "does your name begin with a D?" she asked firmly. daniel now gaining a better hold of himself and much calmer, said "daniel, my name is daniel."

with that all other members but the doctor and daniel, went away as though vanishing into thin air. the lady doctor then stood up from her chair, walked upto daniel to compliment him. in came another doctor who seemed to be pre-occupied with thoughts and sat on the chair facing daniel. as the doctor shifted his spectacles, he browsed through daniel's records and looked up. he started, "so daniel, you know you are up for a review next week. if your behavior is good, you will go free. so lets begin. how are you feeling, daniel?" with her right hand on daniel's left shoulder, the lady doctor and daniel said in unison in daniel's voice, " I feel fine doctor."


1. for those who didn't get the plot, the protagonist suffers from mpd ( multiple personality disorder).
2. the lady doctor was also a part of daniel's personality.

Monday, April 06, 2009

one of the most fabulous songs, i am so floored:

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

conversations with god

so i was going to the library today. i wasnt a library person earlier, but i like the desk space and the natural light it throws in the basement, which brings me back day and day after to it. i digressed. anyway so i was on my way to the library and as i was walking towards it, a girl walked upto me asking me if i had time. if she could wrap it up in 5 mins., then i am all ears, said i.

which is when she started talking about jesus as the savior so on and so forth. what was amazing was she came from korea ( dunno which one), just for this! i wanted to start a discussion about the veracity of His existence, but I could see it would go nowhere due to 1. lack of time and couple of other reasons, which is why i post it here.

i have a different perspective here.

religion for me is an idea, a powerful idea, with God as the central figure. its a notion perpetuated since time imemorial.

religion was and is used as a medium to bring people together. now nobody wants to willingly go to hell, everybody wants to go to heaven (because the notion of heaven and hell is perpetuated as a good place to be and bad place to be). and if the idea is permeated that only by doing certain activities would you be granted a place in heaven, more often than not, people will do those activities. and what happens when like minded people come in contact? they live in harmony and peace.

and even though one doesnt subscribe to the above idea, here is another way to look at it. it is a fair assumption to make that at most 3 people among 10 are intelligent. the rest are sheeple ( herds) who like to be directed. so one of these "people" figured to get the "sheeple" to be productive by uniting them with a cause. and thus by introducting the notion of a super natural entity, they were more or less directed in their activities.

hence in my opinion religion and God are the most powerful ideas that man has ever come up with that has gained an unanimous acceptance in every era.

to further this argument, its the belief that characterizes God. say for example, there is a magic teapot somewhere in the universe. now some one says there is a magic teapot and its cosmic rays will benefit mankind so on and so forth. if just one guy or a small group believes in it, they are tagged as lunatics. BUT if the whole town (say) believes in the magic teapot, then it is suddenly God like, magical etc. (even though there is no such magic teapot).

devouts say if you dont accept God, you are a sinner and you go to hell. they also say that if one does good things, then one will go to heaven. so does a man, who doesnt accept God (atheist) , but does one's exemplary work for the benefit of mankind, have no chance in heaven?

i guess God exists for those who see Him as a source of hope, saviour etc, and doesnt for those who have their own sources of hope ( which may make them their Gods ;according to the reasoning above; albeit having them to accept it). so does that mean everyone needs hope to continue, to which i say a resounding, YES! after all that was only one of the positive things that came out of Pandora's box. :)

for some this post is tantamount to blasphemy and heresy but i hope it was thought provoking at least.


Thursday, March 26, 2009

its like talking to a wall

but you sometimes wonder if the wall is talking back to you,
only to realise its a wall

epiphany in a state of stupor

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

lights and camera

i have taken to photography lately. i dont think its a fad that is soon going to wane. i started with absolutely no idea on photography and whatever i have learnt is through experimentation. i have also been using a loaner camera but i have got acquainted with it. personally i love canon. i havent tried nikon but have heard its great to use. the camera i use nowadays is panasonic dmz fz 18. now dont go about wondering about panasonic being a camera company. its lens is from leica which is amazing!

so this post is dedicated to photography. my views on it ( which necessarily dont have to be true :P ).

3 components make up a photograph (assuming is auto focus).

1. amount of light on the subject.
2. amount of time that amount of light is exposed on the subject.
3. color.
4. the subject itself.

in my opinion the subject doesn't have to be majestic to make the photo spectacular. even an apple or a bottle of drinking water can be a really good subject. what matters is your perspective on the subject. people who are born with such perspectives, to capture a subject that garners most attention, go on to become professional photographers.

if you view enough photographs, you tend to form your own perspective (which although highly is dependent on the kind of photographs you have seen), but you get there eventually and with time, like wine, become better.

lets assume that you are a beginner and dont have any perspective at all. thats a reasonable assumption. but that doesnt stop from taking breath taking photographs.

what you need then is the proper values of light and amount of exposure. from here on, i will refer to amount of light as apertue, amount of exposure as shutter speed and the color value as ISO.

aperture - lower - more light is going to fall on the lens and hence the photo is going to be brighter

shutter speed - higher it is ( 1/n is more than n because we are talking about speed in time here)

iso - higher it is, more will be the noise or dirtier the picture.

modern day cameras have a metering mode that tell you how bright or dark the photograph is actually going to be depending upon the settings of the aperture and shutter speed. the metering mode is between the range of -2 to 2 in steps of 1/3.

at this point you check if the subject can do with a bright / normal / dark photograph. if you are unsure take one in -1 0 1 and then decide after the viewing the result. eventually you will understand how you want your photograph to be.

one of the challenges is to take snaps at night. an aid for you is a tripod. it helps a lot in night photography. the challenge here is that there is a dearth of light. to counter you decrease the shutter speed ( take it couple of seconds) and increase the aperture (allow more light in). decreasing the shutter speed means that more time is spent on capturing the subject and hence more color is absorbed. increasing the aperture will increase the light coming on your lens. you will be surprised to see the results of this.

one other thing that will help you in night photography is to drop your ISO. the more you drop the less picky the camera will be about the color. i have captured star constellations this way, using the normal lens and they turned out to be great.

i dont prefer to use flash, unless really really necessary, simply because it doesnt have any range but to your surroundings.

i think this about covers the basics of it. there is a whole world out there to discover.


Friday, March 20, 2009

cigarette and the flame

Driving on the freeway, Fred had an urge for a light. Perusing his pockets, he managed to find a crumpled cigarette. He reached for the lighter on the dashboard and went ahead to light the cigarette, now perched on his mouth.

Flick. Flick. Flick. Flick, Flick, Flick,Flick Flick...... not a flame, only sparks. Annoyed, he took out the car lighter and put it in front of the cigarette. But it wasn't meant to be. The car lighter was as cold as cold turkey. Cussing his rotten luck, he tried to feel the objects in the back seat of the car, hoping to find something that would light his cigarette. His eyes lit up when he felt a small rectangular box. He shook the box and sure enough he heard the rustling of matchsticks.

The box revealed to have just one matchstick. Placing his hands on the steering wheel, he took the matchbox in one hand and the stick in the other. Several tries and curses later, he managed to light the stick. As he drew the flame closer, it burnt out, leaving him in a state of distraught that he was in earlier.

Determined, Fred went off of the freeway to a store to buy a lighter. As he was getting off the freeway, he was still looking around for something that could light the still unlit cigarette. THUD !!! And in that neglect for the road, his car hit a man. Annoyed, not for hitting the person, but for one another hurdle in his quest for lighting the cigarette, he got out of the car.

The man was in shorts, running shoes and sweat bands. As Fred stood there pondering on the next course of actions, there came another THUD!!! This time, it was on the bonnet of the car. And there lay the magnificent object, that brought tears to his eyes. It was as though God had heard his prayers. The Olympic torch in all its glory was on his car, with its majestic flame, dancing with the wind. With that, he drew the flame closer and lit the cigarette. He felt elated and as with any matchstick, he blew the eternal flame OUT.


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

must have on the road songs

the following are the songs but not limited to , worth having on ur iPod or whatever, when you go for a drive:

Highway Star - Deep Purple
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
Sing - Travis
Let me entertain you - Robbie Williams
Road to mandalay - Robbie Williams
Sabse peeche hum khade - Silk Route
Duur - Strings
Anjane - Strings
Khudi - Junoon
Behind blue eyes - Limp Bizkit
Om shanti om - Karz
Punjab - Karunesh
Gill te guitar - Rabbi Shergill
Tere bin - Rabbi Shergill
Pyaar humein kis mod - Satte pe satta
Desert rose - Sting
Lift - Poets of the fall
I will possess your heart - Death cab for a cutie
Sorrow - Pink Floyd
O re piya - Rahat Fateh Ali Khan
Roobaroo - Naresh Iyer (Rang de basanti)
Yellow - Coldplay
The scientist - Coldplay
Clocks - Coldplay
Return to innocence - Enigma
Principles of lust - Enigma
Sadness - Engima
Dooba Dooba - Silk Route
Dhoom pichak dhoom - Euphoria
I get knocked down - Chumbawumba
Numb - Linkin Park
Enter Sandman - Metallica
Garaj baras - Junoon
Sar kiyae - Strings
Dum maro dum - Hare krishna hare ram
Sing - Blur
Scotty doesnt know - Eurotrip
Soul meets body - Death cab for a cutie
Open skies - Parikrama
Anjani rahoon mein - Lucky Ali
Bring me to life - Evanescence
Top gun anthem - Top Gun
Jahaan char yaar - Sharabi

i'll update as i remember the songs.


Monday, March 16, 2009

a short story

Jumping and wading across refuse and garbage, he ran towards the railway station. He knew he was late but he had a fighting chance to catch the train. Mahesh was a mill worker and lived couple of stations away from the mill. He had just got the job. The money wasn't big but enough to make ends meet. The announcement at the railway station told him that the Howrah Express had departed without him. As he was catching his breath, he realized that he could take another train leaving momentarily, change one another; which would then take him to his destination. Without hesitating, he ran towards Platform 3. Securing a seat, he ordered tea from the tea stall in front of him.

The steam effusing from the tea made it look inviting and the aroma made it irresistible. Carrying in a holder of 6 glasses brimming with tea was Raj, a typical child worker. One couldn't tell through his eyes, if he had lost his innocence. The deal with the owner was simple, the more he sells, the more he gets paid. He was new and still learning the ropes of the job. Walking across the tracks to reach other platforms is faster and a common sight in India. Raj's day had begun just fine, with nothing exciting seeming to happen.

Howrah Express had just reached the station and Raj made his way across the platforms to reach the newly arriving train. He was sold out momentarily and rushed to get more. This time in two holders, he decided. A shiny object in the middle of the tracks caught his eye. It was a coin, but not a regular coin. And not a currency but looked costly. He looked at it with utmost attention whilst waiting for the train on the other track to go by. Mesmerized by it and he was thinking of ways he could put it to his use.

The fresh breeze relaxed Mahesh. He was consoled by the fact that the train was doing good time and he could catch Howrah at the next stop. As the station drew nearer, he saw the Howrah at the other platform and got ready to disembark, although his train didn't show any signs of stopping. Panic set in.

Raj's gaze was broken by the rushing train towards him. Fear sank in and he froze like a deer in front of bright lights. The engine driver was a slob, barely competent to become the driver. He didn't care much for his job. He was the exact opposite of an epitome. Noticing the boy in midst of the tracks he reached for the brakes. He was slow, too slow for the job.

Having decided to board the Howrah Express, Mahesh reached for the emergency brake and pulled it hard. And to the drivers surprise, the train began to stop without him doing anything. Screeching and screaming the train came to a halt meters before the boy. Mahesh disembarked and ran towards the Howrah Express.

A crowd gathered near the engine. Beads of sweat made their way to the cheeks of the driver. Stream of tears ran down Raj's face. The driver heaved a sigh of relief. Raj scampered climbed up the platform and scampered in the midst of the crowd.

Mahesh caught the Howrah Express and was unaware of the result of his deed. Raj still crosses the tracks, he can't let that one incident stop him, but is more cautious now. As for the driver, he got awarded by the Railway Department with a raise in his salary, for his quick thinking.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009


the answers are all there. its just that we aren't looking hard enough for them. :)

a philosophical epiphany


Monday, March 09, 2009

the way we are about sex and the way it is

i was pondering over our approach to the concept of sex, while the animals otherwise do it so freely and without any inhibitions. but then i found why, here is eddie izzard's perspective on it and its rather amusing.

and Mother Nature revealed itself to the world one day. She said, “Creatures of the world! Gather ‘round,I shall give you your methods of procreation.” All the creatures going, “Oh, cheers, Mother Nature! I’ve been dying for a shag, me!” “All right, gather round…Here’s a big clipboard here, big flipchart! Now… what’s this…?
Here we go. Dogs! How you doing, dogs?” “Okay, now dogs…we have got you down, dogs…your method of procreation will be doggy fashion! How about that?”

“Yeah, we invented it!” “I know you did! And it’s caught on big time! Okay, off you go…Be careful with the air lock! "

Now, cats… Cats, good to meet you. Now, we’ve got you down for doggy fashion! How about that? What about catty fashion? No, sorry, dogs got in there first; it’s a ‘patent pending’ situation… Anyway, you’ve got cat flaps, so what the fuck are you arguing about?”

“Next we have… sheep! We’ve got you down for doggy fashion! If you get hot, just take your coats off, right?Okay… You wearing Blakeys?

Off you go… Now giraffes! Good to see you. We’ve got you down for doggy fashion, but it’s whatever you can work out, basically. Hang off a lamppost, lean over a tree, you know… just swing about a bit; I mean, sorry, we were gonna make you like a Spaniel kind of size, but someone brought me a coffee and vooom! when I was doing design work, and there you go… Anyway, chin up!

All right…“Human beings… Well, doggy fashion, catty fashion, giraffe fashion, sheep fashion; whatever the hell you want, basically…Hang upside down like a bat, play the banjo, do it on a golf course! As long as you get guilt in there somewhere, we really don’t mind…"

“Now finally, salmon! Good… Got a bit of a surprise for you, people…What you’re gonna do is to swim upstream against a...down-flowing river until you come to a huge waterfall……and you’re going to leap, and leap, and leap, and leap up this waterfall, and you swim along, and you leap,and leap, and leap, and leap; then you get along,and you lay eggs, and you fertilize the eggs, and then you drop down dead! Ha!”

“We’re quite happy with doggy fashion…”

“No… You piss me off, you salmon!

You’re too expensive
in restaurants, that’s your trouble…”


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

of fatalism and free will

this has been bogging me all along lately. this is an unending battle. here are some of the thoughts on free will, which is an on going process till i reach to a firm decision on the existence of either:

read this post before proceeding.

some definitions:

free will - the ability to make your own choices under no coercion.
fatalism - everything is written and we follow a script.
determinism - the ability to predict something will occur - fatalism
non determinism - the inability to predict something will occur - free will

i always thought that free will is a part of fatalism. my understanding was that because we see things random enough, we have the notion of non determinism. but what if events weren't as random as they seem to be. what if behind the fog of non determinism lay determinism, so elegant and graceful, that even though if we discovered it, it would be beyond our comprehension.

we all are a product of influences. hence we always react to events after taking the reference from the influences. and so, we have built a causally dependent chain. now this in my earlier post associates with determinism. but here i would like to interject.

i think there is free will here. influences do affect our decisions, but it is we who decide how much we want it to affect us. for e.g. : parents beat up a kid, so 1.) either the kid decides never to lift a hand on his children 2.) or the kid beats his children as well owing to his childhood experience. so it is up to the kid here on how he would react to this beating. he is not forced on to behave in some way.

influences just restrict your ways to behave, they don't decide actions for you. ones decision will always be in his favor. he will not do anything against it and so because we kind of know how he is going to behave, we attribute it to fatalism (fate). for e.g. your friend knows you for quiet sometime and so he will be able to predict with decent accuracy of your decisions. that said you still aren't coercing him to arrive at a decision, you are just commenting on it. and thus he is exhibiting free will.

as said in the earlier post, this may be because we are participants in the system. for someone who is unaffected by it, outside the system, and for that someone who knows everything, it is fatalism. fatalism for him, free will to us because we still do not know. and if he is just an observer, not an all knowing personality, it then is free will to both of us. because he doesnt know how we are going to act, despite that he has all the information of our behaviour.

i guess it is all a matter of attitude. how you look at things. if you just have given up and let the nature of events make the decisions for you, despite you exhibiting free will by showing lack of concern, you will associate it to fate.

from a scientific standpoint, everything follows an equation, everything is ordered. and there are concepts that we havent understood so far. but whenever we did so, we found it to obey an equation (for e.g.: the distribution of prime numbers, reinmann -zeta function)

so is it fair to say that because we have not understood the system enough to formulate rules and which is why we have a notion of free will when everything could be actually ordered?

till i have something more to say, i will leave you with this question, do you believe in free will or fatalism?



fatalism 0 free-will 2

Monday, February 16, 2009


fatalism wins again

fatalism 2 - free will 0

Friday, February 13, 2009

going in

thats it! i am going in!

Saturday, February 07, 2009

of goodwill and extremism

goodwill and extremism. lexicographically, there are antithetical to each other. and on prima facie as well it looks so too. but then is it really? in my opinion in a certain state goodwill borderlines extremism. that state is achieved when somebody has power and is defiant.

for e.g.:

let us assume that there are 10 people who are a hindrance to a community. the problem here is that the word hindrance is purely subjective. hence, a certain set of that community view it as a hindrance and others don't. violence is the easiest way to rid something off and we are animals at core, so the group uses violence and rids the community of the bad blood.

what ensues is that, the group now has equivocally gained the trust of the community and to ensure the situation doesn't repeat itself, it starts policing and has its own laws and of course gets drunk with power. and since it has the power, it now tramples over the constitutional rights of an individual and enforces its then goodwill and now tyranny/extremism.

this goes on until another set finds it unbearable and then upsets the prevalent group and the whole cycle begins again.

what this effectively translates is that, the government should have an effective strategy for mob control. mob = junta, public at large.

people have tolerance factors. when everyone gets upset, it translates as a revolution and history says no governing body survived a revolution and hence in this case, there will a restoration of order. however, it only lasts for a short time, until the tolerance is not pushed and the whole cycle starts over again and again and again.


p.s.: i realise the flow breaks off somewhere.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

my life.....a soap opera II

so well, i thought a second part would come up.

recap (with the crazy camera angles and arresting(? is that the right word?) music):

i was to get a job offer / a decisive career changing opportunity as foretold by astrologers, whom my mother had consulted. i was also awaiting the final decision on the extension.

intro music (some crap music with images of past episodes)

adverts (close up, vip underwear, 501 detergent tikia, rupa's thermocot etc etc)


ep II:

as i eagerly awaited the final decision and was ready to pack my bags for a visit to india, i don't hear back from my supervisor. knowing that the week following was christmas, i lost hope of getting the offer letter that week.

on jan 2 /3, i shoot a mail again to my supervisor ( wishing him happy new year and sorts, kinda buttering him up) and then ask him about the status, for which he regretfully informs me that the evil financial controller had rejected the whole proposal. i had prepared myself for this, so it didn't come to me as a shock. only a little resentment, but couple of donuts made me got over it.

this severed my spending capacity (another blow to the american economy).

by the way, in the last month i made 3 trips to san jose! :P one with a visit to a haunted hotel (more on that later).

so i wondered, how is my life not going to be the same mundane routine, as i had nothing to do. surprise suprise i started giving interviews to the university paper on an application that i had made and a tv interview as well on the same topic.

this seemed a welcoming change.

so as i await any further development in my career, i sit on my bed ( which is nice and comfy), with thoughts about someone, guitar, music etc. lingering. they keep me active.

and i am blossoming into a fine cook (i am surprised as you are!)

until there is another episode,


Monday, January 12, 2009

keep them funny speeches comin

with all due respect, i sometimes believe that the team that writes speeches for george bush is from the democratic party OR george bush is plain stupid to be vocal about his thoughts rather than just sticking to the script!


spare change

how do you pass a judgment on, when you see a person in his/her mid 30-40s asking for alms on the street, whether to part with some spare change or refrain from it?

this question has been poking me around for quite sometime now.


Tuesday, January 06, 2009

free will

lets get on a topic that has been hotly debated.

is there such a thing called free will? as always you will find people from both sides of the camp.

in my opinion free will doesn't exist. it is analogous to the observations of a third party in an event or simply put, to the participant an action might seem random, but for an observer unaffected by the system of the experiment, the actions would be deterministic (chaos theory?)

my stand comes from the fact that our understanding of a state is causally ordered. and because of the dependence relationship, it is deterministic.

for e.g.:

you are reading this article. i didn't coerce you to read this article. it was you who chose to read this article (thus exhibiting free will). now lets make some assumptions. lets assume there is a guy named Fred who was created right after the universe was and is omnipotent, he knows all. thus he knows that you are reading this article because that is a fact. you are reading this article because you were led to it from somewhere. your actions were based on a certain influences (which is the cause). and if you walk back this causal chain, you eventually reach the start of the universe.

obviously there is no such guy named Fred, so the question remains, if you actually came here by your own volition or was it pre-determined? if you reason that if you had chosen not to read this article, what then? then the proposition that you read this article is a fallacy and hence would not exist in the causal chain.

along this line of thought, can this be associated to fate?

fate / destiny is commonly attributed to something that is laid out for you, in the shadows, revealing itself only when necessary. this is similar to the above discussion in that no matter how independently you think you are doing, you actually are working like a cog in a machinery.

so now i ask you, is there such a thing/concept of free will?